SAHM I Am

Throwing Ma a luncheon was the perfect activity
for my first SAHM day, considering she was one of
the best SAHMs ever. She taught me well.  

Today is my first official SAHM day. My intent was to make a homemade breakfast for my son. He loves pancakes, so my intention was to whip some up as soon as the coffee brewed. But when I went to the fridge to get eggs and milk, I remembered I used the last of the eggs for my mom’s birthday luncheon dessert. When I cracked that last egg, I thought to myself, “No problem. I can simply go grocery shopping Monday afternoon.” So rather than pick up eggs and other groceries over the weekend as I’ve done for decades, I waited. We also had to give my son lunch money, because we were also out of bread and other bag lunch necessities.

Mom’s luncheon was also planned for my first official SAHM day. Prep work was done throughout the weekend, including baking the cheesecake, which required the last of the eggs. I spent my first official SAHM day cooking. Thankfully, Hubby was scheduled to go to work at noon. He graciously took on the cleaning and errand running. He had to run by the store because in addition to eggs and bread, we were also out of mozzarella cheese. My chicken parmesan just isn’t the same without the cheese.

After lunch, I had just enough time to run another load through the dishwasher and grab a shower before heading out to pick up my son. Since he needed practice driving, we swung by the grocery store on our way back.

It’s actually great being at home. I’m home because a recent event in my son’s life illuminated a crossroads in my life. Walking home from school one day, he was mugged. It was 4 p.m. He was less than a block from our home. He called me after it happened. But it was 4:10, the time he usually calls after school. I was in a meeting. I didn’t take the call. I waited until the meeting was over and then I called him back. Upon hearing what had happened, my emotional bottom dropped out. The working-mom balance I’d negotiated for twenty years went askew. My priorities changed. Everything changed.

We have a child in high school and two in college. My mom lives with us. There is much I need to do at home. But I was still working. For years I had to work. But driving to the office the morning after the mugging, I called my husband and choked out through tears, “I can’t do this anymore.”

We talked. We crunched numbers. We made changes. Then I submitted a two-month notice. Now, I’m home. That horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that has been plaguing me since the mugging has finally subsided. I’m a SAHM for the first time in my life and I believe it’s going to be the best job I’ve ever had—once I get the hang of it. I may be reaching out for help. 

Micki Bare, mother of three, wife, writer, and content strategist is the author of Thurston T. Turtle books. 

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