That Awkward Moment When . . .

Wine pairs well with bifocals and thongs
when you hit 40-something.

There are times in life when awkward barely begins to express the weirdness surrounding a stage or situation. Puberty gets a lot of press for awkward moments, styles, haircuts, decisions, firsts, and more. But the longer I do time on this planet, the more I come to know that puberty is only the beginning. 

The pregnancy years evoke some uncomfortably odd moments. For example, when you have a new human being growing, eating, and pooping inside you and your are uncomfortable in ways you never before imagined possible, your perspectives change. You aren't as selective when it comes to peeing in public restrooms. You are less than self-conscious when someone notices a blob of mayo on the bib of the only maternity blouse that still fits. By the time a group of professionals gathers around your altogether in the delivery room, you don't even bat an eye at the fact that you are likely to both poop and vomit on one or more of them before the day is done.

Once you have children, awkward becomes routine. You always have a back-up escape plan for when your child asks a stranger why he is really fat or casually drops into conversation the word he overheard grandpa use when the wrench fell on his big toe. 

Our children are practically adults. Now that they are starting to spread their wings,  Hubby and I are finding we have more space to fly as well. As a result, I discovered I am entering a new awkward phase in my life. 

I've reached that awkward age at which, during a public presentation, I still need to wear a thong to avoid panty lines, but can't read my notes without my transitional bifocals. 

I'm just happy to be old enough to enjoy a glass of wine after a presentation while still young enough not to worry about it interacting with prescription medications.

Micki Bare, mother of three, wife, daughter & writer is the author of Thurston T. Turtle children's books. 

Email: mickibare (at) gmail.com

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